My Life is in the Toilet

My cousin Kati and her SO Jackson are taking two months to wend their way through Eastern Europe and Turkey.  Jackson is blogging about their adventures, which I follow, drooling with every mile.  Back in my youth, I, too, once spent two months wandering the coast of the-then Yugoslavia and Greece. 

Today, I'm building a house.  Yesterday, I was consumed with TOILETS.  I learned more about toilets than I knew there was to know.  Did you know that

1.  toilet seats can be round or oval

  The plumbing salesman informed me that the oval style is more comfortable.   I did not pursue the matter.

2.  seat can be "slow-close"

Again,  my information comes from the salesman.  The benefit of the "slow close" is not to prevent dismemberment of the male member, but rather so the user does not drop the seat, making a loud noise

3.  Toilets can be the standard two pieces where the seat and the back are stuck together or one piece, with the seat and back molded together, the one piece the more expensive, about twice as much as the more mundane style,  but the more "elegant" -- and easier to clean.  Salesman did say they are a special-order item.

4.  the bottom of the toilet can be straight
. 

Now this makes a certain sense to me.  Seems practical, as the curves on the bottom of most toilets catch dust...and other stuff.  Salesman had no comment on the cleaning of the toilet.  Guess his job is selling them, not cleaning them.

5.  Really elongated.  So low to the ground and sticks out so far, I'd probably fall over it in the dark!

6.  Oh yeah.  Some toilets are higher off the floor.  Who knew???  But it makes sense for us older folk, whose aging knees protesteth the lower we force them to bend.

A dear cousin has a truly fancy toilet, one that negates the need for TP, as it squirts warm water and then warm air.......  With such a toilet, my water bill would be ginormous because...oh never mind.

Another cousin has a toilet with two push buttons on the top of the tank.  One button is to be used when liquids are deposited; the other button is for solids.  I think both buttons get pressed after a night of Bacchus when one is worshiping the great porcelain goddess.

Fortunately for my sanity, the toilet selection in Wise County is not large, and does not include the warm water/warm air model, or the water efficient push button option..  Making a decision is already hard enough:  round/oval, 1 piece or 2, slow close or noisy dropper????


Katie, Jackson, wait for me..............