Bahamas Cruise: Escape from the Season of Good Cheer

We are among those very few Americans who feel edgy and uncomfortable during the Season of Good Cheer, said Season now beginning around Halloween with the advent of a few small Seasonal items sneaked in between  humongous bags of candy, grotesque masks, and pink princess costumes.  Gradually, more Season of Good Cheer merchandise makes its way onto store shelves, until by the   beginning of the second week in November, the sounds of Little Drummer Boy are unmistakeably audible.  And so, those of us overwhelmed and appalled by the grossly crass commercialization of an event that began in a humble manger....well, we flee, to the well-named ship pictured below:  Carnival Fantasy. 

The Fantasy is the smallest and oldest of the Carnival Cruise Line.  Yes, we dared a voyage on the high seas with the cruise line which held captive its passengers for four days on the infamous "poop cruise."  Some of us will do most anything to escape the Season of Good Cheer.  Regardless that Fantasy is the smallest of the line, my previous encounters with the high seas had been on genuine sailing vessels...with real sails...operated by Windjammer, until a hurricane wreaked financial havoc.  Windjammers held 60 - 100 passengers.  And I have a few Lindblad trips on my passport, with around 60 passengers.  Smallest though it might be, the Fantasy held around 2,000 passengers.  Yikes!

For those of you who have not yet engaged in the large cruise ship experience, here are several photos of The Spectrum, which resembles the atrium of a small shopping mall, located in New Jersey and designed by a Liberace wannabe.

That the main focal point of the ship looks like a shopping mall is no mistake; everything is for sale....even the bottle of water place in my cabin the night before my departure.  I found a charge for $4.98 on my check out bill the next morning.  Heavy as it was, since I'd bought it, I lugged it.

No, not a tier at the opera.  Another view of The Spectrum.  The Spectrum should be in rolling font, day-glo orange, leaping off the page, but, alas, blogspot does not seem to offer that functionality.  Even a tour of the innards of the ship was for sale:  a mere $55 for a three hour tour.  Sounds a bit too much like The Minnow for my comfort.

Performers on these ships are pretty much Z-list wannabes...and this is one of the stages.  Told you it looks like south Jersey by way of Las Vegas.

Waiting for a 6 o'clock dinner sitting.  The food was perfectly acceptable, and plentiful.  And available 24/7 in various places. 

Too cute to pass up a photo...with parental permission, of course.

Possible blackmail photo, without parental permission.  Our dining room was open seating, though we ate around 6 every night, and the wait staff provided musical entertainment.  Mother, who's actually relatively sober, joined in the revelry,

The Newlyweds.  Jim and Pat were wed in Charleston on the Battery (aka Battry) on the day before we sailed, Friday, Dec. 20.  They had attempted to be married by the Captain aboard ship, but maritime and corporate administrivia stood in the way of their march down the grand staircase of the Spectrum.  We were sadly disabused of that seafarer's notion of the Captain is master of the ship...at least when it comes to marriage. 

Pat's two adult children, Meredith and her older brother Brian, joined us aboard ship.  Both were polite, funny, well-mannered, and, not surprisingly, occasionally needed distraction from the senior citizens with whom they were seated.

Unfortunately, I didn't get a good photo of my sibling;  of the two of us, she's the better-looking.

Chocolate on my pillow and cute towel animal at the foot of the bed, a different one each night.  I confess that I do like turn down service.   However, given that my room in such situations is always a mess...I don't unpack.... clothes tossed hither and yon, shoes scattered about, surfaces hidden by brushes, papers, water bottles, sunglasses....  I'd just as soon not have the cabin attendants come in and "service" the room, so I put  the "go away" sign on my doorknob the first day at sea, and left it there.  Evening of day #2, night #3, I'm in my jammies, reading, being lulled by the gentle motion of the ship, when I hear  a gentle tap tap tapping on my chamber door.  Outside are two security personnel.  Yikes.  They express concern for my well-being, given the "go away" sign on my door.  I assure them of my well-being, and my enjoyment of the voyage.  I sense, though, that my well-being is not their primary concern, which is the possibility that I'm hiding someone in my closet of a cabin.  It is only after I invite them in, an invitation which one accepts, that they smile and go away.

Perhaps the oddest onboard commercial venture is the well-organized marketing and presentation of the sale of "fine art."  Each morning upon awakening, I would find a slick brochure had been slipped under my door, announcing a champagne opening or an auction or a chance to guess-the-price-of-a Peter Max.... It is simply beyond my ability to grasp why I would buy a huge, ornately framed painting or etching or lithograph on a cruise to the Bahamas.  Someone must, though, as it's quite a slick operation.

We called at two ports, the first being Nassau.  The weather was....OK, not to put to fine a point on it........perfect!!!!!!  We're all headed out for a catamaran trip out to a snorkeling reef.  Here, Susie, Mother, and Harry display happy smiles and warm weather attire.  PS...Mother will supervise the snorkeling but will not participate.

The new groom, looking like an ad for the cruise line...or wondering as to the whereabouts of his bride.

Bride Pat and daughter Meredith.  Sorry, Pat; you're much more attractive than this photo.

Son Brian, except to the dining room, where he's Bryon.  I hope I'm not revealing too much when I tell you that he's a chick magnet...and an English major, so perhaps the Bryon is fitting.

I have no idea why I took this photo.

Although Nassau seems to focus on tourists, even here there's a suggestion of sea-faring commerce in the background.

I'm partial to these large conch shells but was reluctant to buy one, as I do not know the status of the health of these creatures.

Our intrepid little group, with Mother hanging on to her hat, impatiently awaiting the catamaran, which was not quite on schedule.  Didn't much matter to me.  It was warm, sunny, some place I'd never been.  I slip into island time with ease, mon.

On the Nassau water front.  Can you spell t o u r i s t??

I think I took this photo to demonstrate that not all of Nassau is Senor Frog's.

Don't know what it is, but it's colorful.

 

Home sweet home....for  few days.

Four other cruise ships docked in Nassau.  The dark hulled vessel is a Disney ship.

 

Our transport arriving, draped with happy folks.

 

No, the woman pointing her finger is not reprimanding the newlyweds and kidlets.  And no, I don't know why they're looking so glum...because they definitely were not!

Brian and Jim demonstrating the awkward lack of agility when moving one's body on the net covering the two pontoons on the catamaran.  See below.....

Where most of us dashed to upon boarding...the netting, just a few feet above the water.  Walking on it is more wobbly than on a trampoline, and more fun!

A long time, dear friend had expressed dismay at a photo of a very old, tired, creaking, cracking pedicure, so I took this photo to demonstrate my bright new Season of Holiday Cheer Pedicure.  Unfortunately, you can't see the glitter, but it was dazzling.

I think the grimaces are because the wind is blowing on us.

Every now and then, I see advertisements on television for some fantastical looking resort somewhere warm.  Turns out the someplace warm is Nassau.

Apparently, this totally "I don't belong in Nassau or anywhere else in the civilized world" resort boasts the world's largest swimming pool.... and for the paltry fee of $80 something, we could have been taken over to look at the pool and maybe have a stale sandwich, though that may have cost extra.  And for around $200, we would be allowed to swim in the pool.  I think total body immersion was allowed for that amount of money, though it might be that when one is wet to one's waist, a resort staffer runs over and demands another $100 for the full immersion experience.

Sorta cute.  And as touristy as is Nassau,  I could see wintering in one of these places. 

Catamaran captain told us this is Oprah's house.

We thought it a bit tacky, but since we can't afford even this cute little blue place, we might be jealous.

I didn't know what this was, so I did what any retired schoolteacher would do:  googled it.  Mailboat is a small company that hauls passengers and goods.  Might be a good way to get between Freeport and Nassau. 

I like tugboats and fishing boats.

Closing in on a reef in the catamaran.

Castaway:  Would you rather be with Tom Hanks or Oliver Reed??

The reef is clearly visible here.  We don't land on land.

Judge Harry looking quite distinguished in the life vest we were all required to wear on the catamaran and in the water, even though we didn't have to inflate it.

We just went off the sides in the back.  A safety rope was attached to the boat and the white life preserver.  The water was definitely chilly upon entrance, so I held my nose and jumped.

This is either Jim or some stranger.

Looks crowded and there were the occasional near misses and tickled toesies, but it's a big reef.   Once in, I wasn't cold.  The fish were, of course, beautiful, though the reef itself, as with many, is looking the worse for pollution and the non-existent climate change.

Not me, but who can tell?

Me looking quite stylish in my colorful snorkeling gear, while wearing a contrasting life jacket and sun shirt.  I burn easily, and have had sun poisoning, so now I wear this fitted, long sleeved, high neck top.  It's quite fetching, actually.

This is ME, but who can tell?

Me again, trying to stay still enough for long enough so Mother can take my photo.  Unlike the Atlantic Ocean, the Caribbean, while more buoyant, doesn't leave that saline crust on skin or swimsuit.  And I didn't need flippers or any life jacket to remain buoyant; in fact, diving is a challenge.

A happy person.

She's not as unhappy as she appears to be....just a bit bored from having nothing to read and no crossword puzzled to work. 

I had to ask our captain to put his hands on the steering wheel...or whatever it's called... Amused, he acquiesced, though I did have to place his hands where he'd look more captainly.

One of the crew pointing out something to Pat on the return voyage to Nassau.

Jim and Brian sampling the rum punch on our return trip, and most likely discussing baseball.

Tired and happy snorklers.

A tired, happy, and cold 11 year old.  And yes, I did ask if I could take her photo.

It's own little island...tres cute!  Pat and I both adored it!!

Not a bad life

Too large for me. 

Susie, Meredith, and Brian relaxing on the return.

And a wonderful surprise treat!  The captain raised the sails. 

Sailing is heavenly.  Being on the catamaran, sipping rum punch, dancing along on the water, all brought back such wonderful memories on the now-gone Windjammers.

Bliss

This beautiful little girl is the daughter of one of the crew.  I asked him if I could take her photo; he said ask her; I did and here it is.....

And with her lovely smile, we say farewell to Nassau.  Next stop:  Freeport.

At first, I thought these might be guano covered, but I think not.

Freeport, unlike Nassau, presents an industrial face to the incoming cruise passenger. 

And after Senor Frog's, I was actually pleased to see a part of the Bahamas grounded in the nitty-gritty.

And I'm fascinated by container cargo, and how it is transported from shore to ship...or ship to shore, which I saw done in Seattle, Washington, many years ago.

Didn't see many of my fellow passengers capturing these kodak moments.

Reminded me of those tall, long-legged, clunky creatures in Star Wars.

Another odd fascination of mine:  tugboats

Not sure about the origins of this name, but it doesn't sound very islandish...

An odd juxtaposition....

Completely fake shopping village at the cruise docks....for those not inclined to go into town

Another Carnival ship, and a longer shot of the shopping village.  Also, note the dark clouds.  Storm's a brewing.  Rumor was that a crew member of this ship died and was brought on board the Fantasy, because we had a morgue.  They had a heli-pad. And early the next morning, which was supposed to be an "at-sea" day, we wondered if we might need the morgue.  As we wandered out on deck, we were approaching Port Canaveral, with clear intentions of docking.  Word finally went around that a passenger had become ill and was being off-loaded.  Waiting for us was an ambulance, and after some time, paramedics boarded with a gurney, finally reappearing with an elderly woman, positioned facing the ship.  She gently lifted her arm and waved, generating a round of applause and cheers from those of us who were rudely gawking....  A woman with class and wit.

I excursed into the village, and liked the justaposition of the ship's stack in the background.

So I took another one.  It was so obvious that this shopping area had been rolled out one night for the cruise ship passengers, and part of me preferred the no-holds barred tourist shtick of Nassau.  Nassau had a liveliness to it that was lacking in this very artificial area.

And, yes, another Senor Frog's....

I did catch a 10 person taxi into Freeport, which seemed to be another Potemkin village for tourists, though, as with this woman, there were some hand make items.

Hello Kitty purse

She's needleworking the Kitty face into the woven cane.

 

For my Cousin Robby

Charming dockside hotel.

Toes are still looking good as I say goodbye to Freeport.  But before I wave farewell to the cruise, I must add one more person to our coterie of cruisers:  Patty, whose picture does not appear, because she and my camera were never in the same place at the same time.  Patty is a friend of Mother's, from Alabama, and they shared a cabin.  She has the most delightful sense of humor...and a rather sly approach to meeting men, though I won't give away her secret.  So to Patty:  Thanks for joining us and a big HUG!!!